


Weight

by sunhawk (sunhawkflamesprite)



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Gen, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-09
Updated: 2011-06-09
Packaged: 2017-10-20 06:52:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/209947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunhawkflamesprite/pseuds/sunhawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve tries to come to terms with the fallout of his crusade against Wo Fat (Spoilers for the end of s1)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weight

**Author's Note:**

> I know this fic will probably become AU once the new season starts but I just felt the need to explore what happened right after the season finale. My first fic, trying to do Steve and Danny justice. Thanks so much to alamoa, imaginarycircus and loki256 for all their wonderful help beta'ing on all levels. Hope you like it!

For a long time, Steve sat motionless on the cold metal bench of his lock-up cell, head bowed with his face pressed into his nearly-numb hands.  He still ached all over from the taser, his shoulder still stiff and the rest of him sluggish to respond.  Steve could vividly remember shouting at the Governor; he could remember the wild mix of vindication and anguish at her reluctant confirmation that she'd ordered Laura's death, and then the unexpected shock radiating from his neck, ending abruptly in darkness.  Obviously, someone had gotten the drop on him, but he hadn't had a look at them before he'd been so ignominiously brought low.  And while Steve had been disoriented, nearly out cold, someone had shot the Governor, right in front of him.  He hadn't been able to do anything to stop it.

Steve could hear a ghost of Danny in his head, sarcastically asking him why exactly could he never do anything without waiting for backup - who did he think he was, some sort of superhero?  Some kind of one-man army?

 ** _*Navy*_** Steve silently reminded the imaginary Danny, unable to resist repeating the joke.  _*I was in the **Navy** , remember?*_

But then he thought of Kono, and any wisp of gallows humour left in Steve was blown away as he remembered her face when they'd crossed paths at the HPD detective desks.   For a long moment, Steve had been absolutely baffled: what was Kono doing there at all, let alone turning in her gun and badge?  Had she somehow impeded the police when they were chasing him?  To Steve's eyes, she had seemed afraid, but then, he knew the signs to look for; to anyone else, she probably gave off an air of subtle defiance. Then their eyes had met and she'd given him that same look she'd given him a hundred times before, waiting for him to say the word, to give her a signal - something, * _anything_ *, that would put her world back in place and she'd follow him anywhere to do it.  She was unsure but game, looking to Steve to make things right again.

He'd let her down, let the police drag him away from her, hadn't been able to muster a single word or gesture to reassure her.

Although Kono had learned so much since joining the Five-O, she still had the shiny unblemished surface of a new car, fresh from the lot. She still believed that good would always win, and right and wrong could be clearly defined. It had been his job to guide her, to temper her exuberance against the reality of upholding the law, without letting it break her.

The dull lethargy suddenly left Steve's body in a rush, as a hot wave of guilt and misery washed over him, fresh and scalding, pushing him upright and forcing him to move restlessly within the confines of the cell.  

Back and forth he strode, his legs nearly rigid and his movements rhythmic, feeling like an animal pacing in its cage.

"You look like death warmed over.  Like some sort of ninja zombie."

For a moment, Steve thought it was the imaginary Danny speaking in his head again, but the words were still ringing in the silence of the cell.  Steve turned and there was Danny on the other side of the bars, still wearing his clothes from yesterday, his hair mussed by worry.  His eyes were bloodshot, his tie loose around his neck.

Steve paused his pacing and drifted closer to Danny.

"How'd you get in here?" Steve asked, squinting.  Danny’s scowl made it perfectly clear what he thought of that question, as his hand darted upwards, stopping just short of raking through his uncharacteristically tousled hair.

"How did I get --Hello, I am an upstanding officer of the law to whom no one can reasonably deny entry to a suspect in custody.  Did you hit your head when you fell over earlier or something?"

Danny's tone was irritated but the look he shot Steve was one of concern, shuffling closer to take in Steve's stiff stance.  Steve almost felt sorry for the cop on shift, trying to stop Danny from getting what he wanted.  

"What going on with Kono?  I heard something about an investigation, why'd they take her shield?  She OK?"  Steve’s gripped the bars in both hands.

"Kono's doing alright, they released her a few hours ago, told her to not talk to anyone." Danny sighed.  "But of course she and Chin have this secret code or something, so he texted me that she's holed up in her apartment, laying low. I'm gonna go check on her... once I'm finished making sure you aren't about to check out on us."

"Was this about the break-in at the evidence locker?"  Steve kept his voice down, flicking a glance at the silent guard by the door and keeping in mind the guy two cells down, -  though he's looked like he was passed out in a drunken stupor.

"Yeah," Danny exhaled a long puff of breath, his voice equally low.  "Just our luck, a nosy old lady --excuse me, a * _concerned citizen_ * -- remembered seeing Kono in her utility gear, God knows where they even found this woman in the first place."

"Kono must be freaking out, she's just a kid!  We should have never dragged her into it."

"Ohhh I dare you to say that to her face," Danny chuckled darkly. "Just for the sake of seeing you get laid on your ass by one of her "lovetaps."  You know as well as I do that there was no way she was gonna sit it out, not with Chin's life on the line.  She made a choice, just like we all did.  We don't have time for regrets."  Danny's voice was full of conviction but for a moment, his haunted eyes gave his words extra weight and meaning.  Steve tried to figure out what Danny was hiding behind his brave words.  Danny had gone off on his own for a few hours earlier... but Steve couldn't remember why, and it was all starting to slide together under the weight of his exhaustion.

"Are * _you_ * OK?" Steve finally asked, letting go of the bars so he could lean his forearm along the horizontal bar instead.  "Is it something with Grace?  Is she..."  Steve paused at the flash of pain that came into Danny's blue gaze at the mention of his daughter.

"She's fine.  Look, I probably got only a few more minutes before one of these HPD yahoos gets up the courage to interrupt our little meeting, so let's just focus on you and what we're gonna do to fix this stupid murder rap bullshit.  I'm a little insulted that they think they can just spoon-feed us this frame-job and we’ll eat it up, but that just means I gotta go yell some more to get it through every possible thick skull in this precinct."  Steve could see straight through Danny's bluster, saw the look in his eyes that said Danny wasn't ready to talk about whatever was bothering him and no force on earth could make him.  

But that had never discouraged Steve in the past, had it?

"Is it Rachel, I thought you guys were getting better--"

"Steve, would you try to * _focus_ *, there are some bigger issues at stake here!"  Danny replied impatiently, speaking loudly now, like he was trying to drown Steve out.  "Rachel didn't do anything. She's just gone back to the mainland with Grace, it's... for the best, for now."

"She did * _what_ *?  Are you sure Danny?  If she's trying to pull a custody thing again, I can call the Governor like I did before and get..." Steve trailed off, feeling slow and off his game, while Danny just looked at him like he was worried Steve had lost his marbles. Then it hit Steve: call the Governor?  What was he thinking?

"Shit. I'm sorry, I'm not--" Steve rubbed his hand over his face in a fast, rough gesture.  It was like he was finally waking up from the jagged-edged nightmare he had been racing through full-tilt for the past week, his thoughts confused and stuttering.  There were far too many gaps in his memory, things people had said or moments Steve should have paid more attention to, but had instead ignored.

"So much for 'immunity and means', huh?" Steve said in a near-whisper, unable to keep the bitterness out of his tone. "I really screwed the pooch on this one, Danno."

"Well, I can't say that the past few days could be considered a stellar example of teamwork, babe."  Danny admitted wryly, but also far more sympathetically than Steve deserved.  Danny had every right to be reading Steve the riot act or even just leave him to rot in jail, but here he was instead, wanting to see how Steve was holding up.

Steve couldn't help but reach just far enough through the bars to lay his hand on Danny's forearm, squeezing gently and feeling the blond hairs tickle his palm.  Danny turned his arm so that his own hand briefly gripped Steve's elbow, the warmth a welcome contrast to the cold iron bars bracketing Steve's arm.

"Now don't go breaking out of here or anything, I know you have all sorts of super-SEAL training that served you real well in 'The Stan--'" Danny tried to bring his tone back to banter-mode, and Steve couldn't help the amused twitch of his lips at Danny's sarcastic verbal quotation marks around "The 'Stan": Danny was never gonna let that go. "--But here in good ol' regular civilization, we behave like normal human beings who respect the fact they've been placed under arrest."  

Danny moved to close the last inch or so of space between them until he was nearly leaning against the black bars himself, his face close to Steve's.  

"We'll get you out of here, Steve."  His voice was uncharacteristically gentle and soothing, just like it had been back at the scene of the cop car shoot-out.  They stared at each other again for a moment, delaying the inevitable, and Steve wondered for a strange, heartbreaking minute if this was what Danny felt every time Steve rushed out on his own at a scene.  The feeling of worry, even knowing that Danny was beyond qualified to do his job, and the need to rush after him, even if it meant going directly against common sense and personal safety.  While being in lock-up was maddening, not being at Danny’s side hurt far more.

The lockup door rattled, and Danny gave Steve's elbow one last squeeze before the two men reluctantly moved away from each other.  They found one more tired smile for each other, trying for a bit of warmth to last through the long night ahead of them, before Danny slowly walked towards the detective who was giving him the stink eye.  Danny in turn didn't even bother to look innocent, but just gave Steve a casual salute and left the room in no particular hurry, not pushing the issue but not letting the HPD boss him around either.  It was so typically Danny that Steve felt the urge to smile again.

Steve eased his arm back through the bars and sat himself back down on the bench, once more leaning his elbows on his knees but now keeping his head upright.  With his hands clasped together and his grey eyes fixed intently on nothing, Steve settled in for the long wait ahead.

  
-fin-  
6.6.11


End file.
